Tim Xu

A couple of months ago, I read a book called “Letters to my Son” by Kent Nerburn. I pulled a group of quotes from the book that especially hit me deep inside, which I rediscovered when I was searching for something else in Gmail. Here they are, with some thoughts attached to some of them.

“Strength based in force is a strength people fear. Strength based in love is a strength people crave.” — Strength based on love is stronger than any force possible. Though I wonder: how does one know that his strength is based in love rather than force? Is it the strength of a parent while his child is sick? Is it the strength of a man or woman who sacrifices everything for his family?

“Measure your greatness by the length of your reach, but also by the gentleness of your touch. For now, the world needs hands that love, not hands that conquer. Let your hands be among them.” — This sounds like something Barack Obama would say.

“Care for those around you. Look past differences. Their dreams are no less than yours, their choices in life no more easily made.” — I believe very strongly in this statement, although I may not always live by it. However, recognizing and embracing differences in opinion, differences in character in everyone is something worth striving for.

“Find the few pieces of your life that help you live. Value them for the way they help you give. Never forget that if you just accumulate possessions as the logical outcome of pursuing your desires, you will lose your wings to fly.”

“Remember that you can’t choose love. Love chooses you. All you can really do is accept it for all its mystery when it comes into your life. Feel the way it fills you to overflowing, then reach out and give it away. Give it back to the person who brought it alive in you. Give it to others who seem poor in spirit. Give it to the world around you in any way you can.” — Perhaps my favorite quote of all of these. There is so much depth in this one quote. The ideas: that love cannot be forced, that once you have it, you ought to share it.

“Money is nothing more than a commodity, an agreed-upon abstraction of exchange. It is the spirit of that exchange that animates money and gives it meaning. Great givers, rich and poor, use money to close doors between us all. Be a giver and a sharer. In some unexpected and unforeseeable fashion, all else will take care of itself.”

“The true measure of your education is not what you know, but how you share what you know with others.” — Truer words have never been said. I love to teach, and this is why.

“We have the power to create joy and happiness by our simplest acts of caring and compassion. We have the power to unlock the goodness in other people’s hearts by sharing the goodness in ours.” — Unfortunately, Former-President Bush did not get this message. Although it wouldn’t have worked, it certainly would have been better than his idea.

“The truly lucky people are the ones who manage to become longtime friends before they realize they are attracted to each other. They get to know each other’s laughs, passions, sadnesses, and fears. They see each other at their worst and at their best. This is ideal but not often possible. You need to look beyond your sexual attraction for other keys to compatibility. One of these is laughter. Laughter tells you how much you will enjoy each other’s company over the long term. If your laughter together is good and healthy, then you will have a healthy relationship to the world. Laughter is the child of surprise. If you can make each other laugh, you can always surprise each other. And if you can always surprise each other, you can always keep the world around you new.”

“Choose a vocation, not a job, and you will be at peace. Take a job instead of finding a vocation, and you’ll be waiting for retirement. We all owe ourselves better than that.”

“Though there are many good reasons to fight, there are no good fights. Someone always gets harmed, and when one person is harmed we are all diminished. Rise above your passions and fears and you will be able to avoid most fights.” — I’m not sure my predilection for avoiding conflict is based on such poetic terms, but it’s a good sentiment.

“Death should hold no terror, and we should embrace our dying as a momentary passage into the great harmony of eternity.”

Male or female, all of you should definitely look into reading this book. It’s got so many nuggets of great wisdom about growing up and being a truly good person.