Semester 1: a Requiem
Thursday, December 18th, 2008They say college is a period of self-discovery and self-realization, of epiphanies and maturation. Yet yesterday morning, at approximately 10:45 AM, when I handed in my Chemistry final and ended my first semester at Yale, I felt no different than I had the day I first walked through Phelps Gate. But I soon realized that, though I felt unchanged, the first eighth of my undergraduate experience left an indelible mark upon me.
My first steps on this adventure were rather timid. Awkward hellos and hi-my-name-is-Tim’s were the theme of the morning when the FPC freshman gathered in Old Campus for the first time. Yet by the time we returned to Yale two days later, I had friends, a few of whom I anticipate will be familiar faces for the rest of my life.
To say the least, FPC gave me the confidence to introduce myself and to smile. And, of course to introduce myself again, after I had forgotten his name. The two days I spent at Camp Awosting truly represented a great prelude to Yale and its experience. But I cannot forget its most important lesson: that my roommate from Texas did not have a southern accent – and that this was normal for Yalies from the south.
The first month of school was, and, in my mind, still is a blur. I met people from different organizations and through different people. I spent time with some friends, then promptly abandoned them for other friends. It was truly a strange period of unrest during which I never stopped to think. I plowed forward, forgoing books for friendship, sleep for fun. My closest friends remained my closest friends, yet everyone else shuffled around me. I had forsaken my friends back home, caught up in this whirlwind of novelty and excitement. Yet, as fate would have it, all the disparate threads I sewed in that first month would interweave in short order.
If I had to pick the single moment that turned the page, it was a late night in early October. Myself and a few friends watched “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” and then we talked. And talked. And after that, I settled. I found a group of friends with whom I could laugh, with whom I could be stupid, and with whom I could just relax and have fun. Then time began to fly.
At this point, I reconnected with high school friends, and the semester continued at a rapid clip. Looking back, all I remember is fun moments, great conversations, and, unfortunately, several late nights at the library. Nonetheless, I was comfortable and happy.
Of course, over the semester, there were a few down moments. I am certainly not proud of a few decisions, yet I realize that each one, each wrong decision, is but another block to build upon. And I don’t regret those moments. I don’t regret, for example, the nights I spent hanging out with friends instead of studying for that midterm. I don’t regret any decision that turned out poorly in the rear-view mirror because I learned.
And so here I am, a semester done. From FPC to late-night talks to partying to turning eighteen to The (freezing) Game to reading week and finals – it’s been a long three-and-half-months, yet I feel like it’s gone by in the blink of an eye. I’ve learned about myself, and learned about what’s truly important to me, but fundamentally, I am the same curious little boy I was before this all began.
So, past all the self-discovery, all the lessons learned and mistakes made, I can only count one real epiphany. The primary reason why I love Yale so much is not the history or the grandeur, not the beautiful campus or the wonderful residential colleges; no, the first and foremost reason why I love Yale so much is the friends and peers that embody its ideals, and who have made this first semester one of the best three-and-a-half months of my life.
Here’s to three-and-a-half more years.
